Bad Little Bait
Local Fermenting Fishiness by the Mug & Bucket
“FREE MONEY” ALE$
A hoppy melange of CDBG applications, public funding, theatrics & pork.
As soft and enticing as any bait.
BF $TOUT
Bravado blends effortlessly with ego in this unchallenged Meeting Muderator/Manager.
An overachieving bait with outstanding longevity.
CURRIED FAVOR PORTER
An opaque bait unusually pungent due to the corruption required for brewing.
Pogie based for long term $ubmersion.
“ A best kept $ecret destined for greatness”
WINK WINK WEISER
Traditional recipe wheat bait. $henanigans & more get well battered before packing.
Almost guaranteed to $ink permanently out of $ight.
IMPERIOUS $TOUT
$elf assured before a chosen audience of admirers.
This baits no back-talk policy leaves the bulk disinclined.
For $hort term use only.
OFF~THE~HOOK
New product line of bait conditioner.
For those occasions when the corruption $imply becomes too much.
Bait coated in ($ecretary of) $tate indulgences.
Offers cover to the complicit & duplicit alike.NOT to be $niffed lightly.
Works best with Curried Favor Porter.
CON~A~TOWN~$OUR~ALE
An explosive & exploitative far reaching Alewife based bait.
Intended for the most desperate on the coast.
Easily $oluble in “From Away” dreams.
REVISIONIST DUNKLE*
Deep dark layered chum filtered to clear for some non-lemmings.
Highly prized to twist the truth for the desired $pin. *Best $pewed during land $hark attacks.
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN *
This bait draws in the most naive fish.
NOT an ethical bait or intended for use with fish with burgeoning $elf respect.
Best $uited for the $hamelessness of bottom feeders.
*This bait has received 6 $tar rave reviews before we even opened the bucket!
Mama
$CHAFFER’$ Darkest $tout
The one bait to have when you are baiting more than one community or development corporation.
Wide reaching bait. Easiest for bottom feeders.
Goes well with our REVISIONIST TANGLE bait to keep the little fishies guessing.
Use $paringly as it disperses widely among crustaceal true believers.
REVISIONIST TANGLE
A blended bait with tentacles in all directions.
Not the best bait, its constant $wirling makes it just hard enough for all the fish to follow.
Only to be used in desperate waters where the fished are especially hungry & have limited resources.
NEW AGE PALATE
Hummingbird eggs $oaked in patchouli vibe are used to lure the easiest to land connected fish.
Murky by design this bait’s base is well tangled in GOVERNMENT, “Formalities” & checked off boxes.
Best to lure in entitled fishies unaware of its true price.
Ours is unusually cloudy for a normally clear bait.
GOOD OLE’ TIME AMERICAN
Honest to goodness bait, Alewives in brine, you know the delicate aroma & firm texture.
Hard working bait, what you see is what you get.
By-products are often $ought by bar- Stool chameleons to camouflage their own $hortcoming$.
UN$TOPPABLE NO ZONING ZONE
The $implest bait, no holds barred.
A tenacious upwind $ort of bait too, not for the faint.
Follow your nose wherever it goes…Clear the decks!
Bon Appetit.
HUFF & PUFF (available soon)
See letters dated March 2022
STOP…talking, thinking, asking questions.
STOP THE PRESSES, NOT!
A lite bait.
Economy Blonde Ale
Once winchelled into place this bait is $till on the $lippery $ide.
Blended from deeds, liens, filings & auction $cheme$.
This bait is as Murky & $kanky as they come.
DAY OLD BAIT ½ PRICE $PECIAL
Miscalculation of the hipster factor leaves us with way too much wortmunger.
Mixed in this bait are “favs” & flaws, a delusional bait, offers little.
Broody & $wampy $melling.
420 DECOY
Thick fishy/$moke $creen is intended to obscure the truth and throw off bidders.
Intended to keep all but one katefish away.
No matter what $train of bait, these bud $ud$ are toxic &
$tench like roaches in bong water & fishy $lop.
Murky as low tide in Boston.
KATE & ALI~~ALI & KATE
This CON?-coction appears $weet & Coy.
Bait is mixed from unmitigated GALL & white middle-aged ENTITLEMENT.
Bulked with Dogfish & re-pulled pork, quite pungent.
USE WITH CAUTION in distressed waters where Federal regulations may apply.
Over priced & under achieving.
BULLY’$ BAIT
Used when neighboring fishies won't get in your net or under your $pell.
Mixture of BULL & $EPTAGE.
Inhibits the truth by threat.
Created by teachers to maintain order.
HIEL TEACHER$!
Formality Bullfish $aison
Best when you have no idea what the duck you’re doing.
No procedure or protocol is required with this bait.
Filled and fogged -in with just the $ee-weed $niff desired.
Baffle them with bullfish bait,
It gets you bye & high.
Interim use only.
Phantom of a $MALL Auction Bait…
These Four-Twenty auction $cammer$ mixed
mama’S official influence, greed, lies & deception.
Used to conceal true intentions.
Backhanded like a $hark in drag.
HUSH HUSH little fishies, for now.
Handy Ale
This bait fills in the gap needed for heavy lifting.
Known to backfire when used as a decoy by the underhanded, for subterfuge.
Not a controllable bait, yet capable of flipping chaos into turnkey in short order.
Who next will Deputy Provincial Investigator Cousteau’s Circus fail to intimidate?
Tourist Trap White Ale
Mixed from $kunky near bier, mackerel & pig hide.
Intended for fish “from away” with an upcharge for the o’ $o-faux hip.
This bait is $lippery as guts on a bare deck. $ingle mug-$hot only.
Turncoat Dunkle
Take all you can get from your faux-hood,
$tate & Country, then don't pay your employees or taxes.
Contrive yet another & another $tory, more lies cloughed in smoke.
Which $pawn$ falls first?
$lither’s Gose
A hoppy $littery mix of $lugs & herring juice topped with
Free Money Ale & Con-A-Town $our Ale (too favs!).
Falsebook promises ain’t working & rip tides a comin’.
It's goin’ be a fast $ide into the pens.
Hooks, Lies & $tinkers Pilsner*
Trap $ome bees in a drift net,
Pour in a pair of penniless fry & a re-birthing $cheme,
Cancel one auction to Contrive another,
& $hower with the government'$ ble$$ing$ and $upport.
A fouled $melt bait, unscrupulous bottom feeders ONLY!
*Pares well with Bully’s Bock.
Falsebook, Lies & Videos Triple Bock*
Mix of Bullfish, Urchin & other $hady chum.
Contrive yet another fishy $tory, as the truth will $end ya to the brig.
No Free $peech, JUST baited “Free Money”.
FISHIES! Jump $hip while you can, $hoals ahead.
Piggy’s Lighthouse is down & you can't turn bock.
*Pares well with Con-A-Town $our Ale
$uper $loppy $aison*
Just Bullfish & Lox,
Toppaned off with everyones fav… microwave hollandaise.
As $limy a bait matey, as you'll ever find Downeats.
Limited availability.
*Compliments Lunch Room Mock Bock
Official Urchins Ale*
Entanglement of Pappa’s Pot of Pogies,
Mama’s Deputy $tate Seal of Approval Urchin,
& their way-off-broadway $ad folly $had.
This brew beaten bait costs more than any baitscheme should
& crooked as that tower in Pisa.
Bait for the little fish, “They’ll never know”.
*Pairs well with Con-a-Town Sour Ale
Sticky Bitter Bait
A sorry cross of Lamprey & Puffer fish.
Observed sniffin’ & groveling the “catch” & floundering from clique to clique.
This bait sticks like barnacles on old pilings & is equally smooth.
Requires a stern-hand to clean up the Cool-aid chum left behind.
You can bank on not catching connected fishies with this bait.
Down Rover, you ain’t no Stryker!
Debacle Bock*
A very clear bait.
Take needy fish from little ponds all over,
toss in “community” $nare$ & coin from near & far.
No duties or due diligence required.
Pockets maybe lined & lives maybe lost,
without Accountability,
how can there be a happy ending for the fishies?
Bait has an extended trap life. *Blends well with BF $tout
$730,000 $IGNATURE BAIT
Our most complex & vast reaching bait product.
$chemed & Deployed in Washington County & beyond.
Fold in, equal number two would be bar owners & Limited Liability Corporations,
Low $uds Brewing & So LaLa, mix with
NMDC Not Money Dished-out Carefully $250,000,
EMDC Eastern Mama Democratic Commitment $250,000,
CDBG Conceal Deceit Bogus Gift $180,000 &
CEI Coastal Easy Installments $50,000.
Toss it all up & what you get is a tauntingly repulsive overpriced (underbrewed) bait.
If any of these tentacles ever talk.
$ignature bait, there’s no escape…
Trappist Altbier
Monkfish, not Monks with coddled cod & $quid ink in a bouillabaisse.
Used to hook the fishies wallets while they can!
Labor day is coming &
Preying will not $ave this wreck of a brewscheme.
Lunch Room Mock Bock
You know that aroma : Bagged & canned food by the gallon mixed with more $lop,
fried in cheap oil & $erved on a $tale roll, hold the garnish.
Bait for the less desirable fish, may they be drinker$!$.
Beer goggles do wonders!
$82,291.00 Gullible $tout
Take two local $ucker fish, add Materials & Hard Labor, mix in $ub-zero temperatures,
& the mistress baiter who wants it NOW?
And then wants just so, no, that way, or this way &
wait its, liening. Do over … do for FREE?
Talk about being baited.
Who'$ holding the bag?
Wasn’t it Kathryn Toppan who said “FREE MONEY”
This year… FREE labor & DONATED Materials?
Downeast Horn$woggle
$implest recipe, just more ails in over $alted brine.
Take one microwaved cooked goo$e with her head in the $and &
an ala carte blinded worter in a $nug harne$$.
Coddled with $tate of O’Maine co-$igner$.
Targets fi$hie$ with beer goggle$ on. You?
Mutiny in the Galley
A simple mix of jolly jelly fish in jam & happy hoppy halibut.
Cooked up when deckhands jump ship & the provost ain’t.
This therapeutic bait relieves constant badgering, low pay, & disregard.
Mutiny…. it clears them from your head.
Foundered at anchor she is!
Got Skunked?
This bait has missed it’$ mark$.
When “fine” fare is not, with an up charge for faux hip,
& the $hip ain’t laissez faire, sail down to
The Parched Parrot, Blue Bonnet or Ellen’s, truly local & fair.
No bullfish on the $lide available. Plus there’s beer!
DOC WHALEN SPRITZER
Not a true bait.
Just the celebration of skepticism in tie & tweed.
RIP Jim.
***Blueberry Festival $pecials***
Floundering Farmed Flounder$
Free Loaders & Flounders entangled with $cat Fi$h, $nake Eel$ & False Filefi$h.
All ala “I'll do as I please!”
with Contractor$$$, Application$, or Driveway’$…
This bar-baric attitude leads to atrocious behavior & leaves
diners & drinkers going elsewhere.
$tate O’Maine Corralled Corruption Chummie$
Mixed & $erved by Official Maine $tate fish from here & far, layered in
Fal$e Morays, Fal$e Filefi$h & Pigfi$h
$730,000 in Public money “loan$” & cold hard ca$h for an
Execrable Bamboozle Bar.
This bait bites every tax payer in ar$e, matey!
Clo$ed for the $eason$ Bait
To$$ed Aholehole and Clownfish with a $midgen of Mexican Blind Cavefish.
Used when ca$h flow is as low as $pring tide
& you don't have the foggiest idea of what the duck just happened.
It's time to go -off$hore with your entrapped ca$h.
Rules are Rules!?
Herrings with chum$
Bait for when you do everything as you duckin’ please.
No rules to follow in the Fareast, it's so BAD even the Anarchists need a break!
Made up rules. Mix’n’match. Who’ll know, Who’ll ask, Who cares,
Who’s watching???
$pawn’$ $poiled Wort$
A simple bait whipped up from wronged wort
covered in more ale-whine$.
With $windled $ dwindling, it’$ time to close the trap!
Serve with Debacle Bock.
Picnic Party Porter ala $CEC
A nasty mix of fetid fish from ponds all over who
$pend Citizens Easy Ca$h.
They roped in & dished out $2,500.00 of
YOUR tax dollars for picnic tables for the bar.
Who will put them use one day ?
Three cheers for $CEC! for $pending Federal Monie$ Free-like!
Can you say $windled Federal Funding ala Covid Relief, quietly?
Perfectly combines with “$730,000 $ignature Bait”
$elect’$ $tout$
A simplistic bait brewed from Dereliction of Duty
& Acts of Incompetence in Alewives with
a dollop of complicit Pawnfish.
When Community $ervice really mean$
$elf $ervice with $ $ign$.
Gesticulation Mackerel-ena
A dance bait not seen in Bad Little Falls before.
Add fish heads & fins & swirl like a Dervish.
This jigs brewed up story is as Murky as the Ganges.
Do the hustle…
Bullabaisse, Lies & Baraucracy
An over confident mix of $hady Shad, $lippery Slugs,
$ketchy Snails in buckets of $kanky Swill.
Bait with blinders when Entitled fish are all you seek.
Rogue wave ahead!
Mark$, Minion$ & Manipulation Marzen
Complex mix for baiting Local Suckerfish.
Acquire the Mark,“One O One” by conning & trapping a
Mess o’ frog legged artist types & saute in estate olive oil.
Add Esquire Blowfish, Banker Bloatfish, Development Dogfish,
& Sprinkle with in-State & non-Local Salmon$ for improved reach.
It leaves a slick thicker than 1991 Persian Gulf “$pill”.
Ain’t it special.
Fitz'$ “Cha-Ching” Mix 101
A nasty emulsion of Pig hides in
fetid Mackerel & Cronies Near & Far.
Covered with tentacles entangled
in more nets than a
Russian Trawler.
A$ Washington County Manager
Fitz’ management oversees our county’s erosion into the sea.
She has a NEW sign for her
parking space, yet
NO WELCOME sign for
Bucolic Washington County!
No welcome back either.
She has her priorities straight.
A$ Commissioner of Tobacco & Liquor
Fitz continues to promote -whatever the barboozlers want- in Machia$, at least?
More $ for nothing.
Does she drink for free?
A$ WC Council of Government
Fitz accomplished -what exactly?
Now she wants a do-over!
MORE & MORE $ for nothing.
A$ Commissioner & Vice Chair of LUPC
(Loose Utterly Planless Cronie$)
Another shell game Fitz has
on shore for a devolving county.
But, Cha-Ching, again.
A$ appointed? Private Dick
Fitz interrogated Law Enforcement!
To hide what now & for whom?
What exactly has Fitz
“public service” achieved other than
HER Golden Parachute?
What does Washington County have to show for Fitz Paid Poor Performance$?
In addition to the smoldering bodies.
$afety? Nope
Community Development? Where?
The only economic development$
are her own & chummie$.
How much taxpayer $ $$$,$$$.$$ has Fitz $quirreled away?
How thick are the linings in those cargo pocket$?
Does she never sleep?
How many hat$ does she get to strap-on U$?
How many Paychecks this month?
Talk about being baited.
This is Officially the most
Baddest Looted Booty
that can be purchased Downeast.
Go Fitz! GO!
Complements with so many baits! Is she paid by your town?
Fitz “Cha Ching” 2.22
Hog hides coated with Augusta’s promises, Sauteed in mussels & marinara,
lies & winks in wrinkles. A fouled bait, best left way, way off shore.
A$ Code Enforcement Officer
Did Fitz looked the other way as what would become a fire that lasted over a day
& in another fire trap did Fitz ignore hazardous conditions which resulted in deaths?
For the least among us, at least.
More $ for nothing. Cha-Ching.
A$ Plumbing In$pector
Did Fitz allowed Rt 1A/Court Street to remain a hazard, resulting in Accident & Injury? More favors? Cha-Ching~Cha Ching …
A$ Meeting Muderator
Does Fitz conduct official busine$$ as if it were a rigged pie eating contest, is it?
No Rules of Order, just Lady Elizabeth’s…Curtsy now.
A$ Machia$ Town Manager
Fitz accomplished exactly what for the resident$?
Check the book$!
As an Engineer!?
Fitz ordered a house torn down costing Machias taxpayers ten$ of thousand$ of dollar$ in the process.
Did she get Cha-Chingback?
A$ Repre$entative of $CEC Sucking Citizens Easy Cash
Did Fitz reallocated $,$$$ for improvements which remain un.
Cha-Ching…Picnic anyone?
WC PowerBull Winner WCPW
County Manager, LUPC, Commissioner of Tobacco & Alcohol, WC Council Governments, SCEC, Code Enforcement, Plumbing Inspection, Town Manager, Meeting Muderator, Private Dick & Grand Pooba.
Poverty, Drugs, Rotting Housing Stock. Management?
Go Fitz! GO!
A bad bad bad local bait.
Faken Bait *
Shiretown Concoction of BullPoop layered in Lupines.
Intended to distract the baffled, browbeaten & blind sea squab.
MVMO ~Machias Valley Misinformation Overseers~
It’s the source when the truth is too revealing to haul up!
Printed with Canadian $nake Oil Ink.
Not, So Ya Ya Yummy little fishies!
*ALL THE NEWS THAT’S FIT TO BE FILETS OF FALLACIOUS FALSEHOODS.
Smile You’re on Candid Camera Machias
Smelts coated in $5,000 for lighted sign mounted on the town office to
INFORM residents~unused. Unusable?
$3,000 for $elect Not’s iPads~ are they still usable, don’t they Zoom?
$3,500.+ for more equipment to Zoom PUBLIC MEETINGS~ that still don’t get.
Too technical for the Stars of the Show or any PAID Representatives?
Now That’s Entertainment.
Smile, our tax dollars at work. A fouled & repulsive bait~ dig in, dig deep.
Try plugging in.
EasyBake Budget Bait
More More More!
How do you like it? How do you like it?
More More More!!!!
Gag Gag Gag WC
Gullible Guppies Guinness Gazette*
More $torie$ Concocted, Conned, Canned, Concealed, Convoluted
& in Print for Bad LicitLess Falls.
Add local ~“$ecret$”~“$tunt$”~“$ide Deal$”~
$aute in $kanky Swill & $tuff up your Ba$$
with a mug of Bullfish dipping sauce.
2021-2022 Farmed Fresh Fiasco & Folly by the Falls WINNER.
Deward Presentation held at now defunct Parched Parrot.
*All the booze news & more unfit for the light of day.
BadLittleBlah Bar Blatant Baiters
Pour over Mackerel Marinara, tipsy & far away Machia$ $elect Not$,
Floured with Locals ala Mafio$a &
Marble with Mama Schaffer$ Maine Table Money & More Monie$ for Moo$.
As $lippery & $waggy a gang as chum on deck, Matey.
But what the heck, it’s le$$ than a Million Dollars!
Do the Twist
Mix for Complicit Foolfish, Duplicit Boozedfish & Putrescent Bullfish;
with no ducking intent of an honest haul.
Mix in brine; Two Moral/Money Le$$ Hogfish, Scaled with dibs &
piled high with Connection$ & Corruption.
Did they think everyone could be swayed with overpriced brew$ & $almon.
$oo YahYah Yummy. Cheer$!
BLB’s Past Due Date Bait…
BLB ala P H S*
Spawn & Krapalyn sat on a Bad Falls Wort Wall.
Spawn & Krapalyn had VERY VERY VERY Bad Little Falls.
All the Government Officials & “Development” Prawns couldn't put
Spawn & Krapalyn back together again.
They Huffed & Puffed with
Blonde Economy Ale.
Who sent a Bad Cease & Desist with no detail.
They Brewed more & more Bad Little Lies as the “Free Money” floated through family ties.
When the FEDS come in to de$kunk their brew will they find
Spawn & Krapalyn have already flew?
So, does it appear true?
Were Spawn & Krapalyn were Bad Little Frauds
& made US Bad Little Fools, too?
Who knew, Wicked Bad Mary did & but, so too deep down did you.
*Perry House Scheme *Portland High School
*Persons Highly Suspect
A Bad Deed in Deed$
~Free~Fi~Faux~Fief~Facade~
I sense the Leer of a Federal Judge or two.
How many own it? Lien$ #1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8~Next?
Where are the bugs in this debacle of deeds?
More Murky & Muddy than Boston Harbor. Ledges ahead!
Fallen Fall$ Fable$ of Fiduciary Fumble$, Foul$ & Fraud$ ala Flounder Fin$
An aromatic tale of Ale Whines, Smoked Perch & Pickled Cooked Books.
Smother in $tashed Ca$h layered ala line item Jiggle & Juggle.
Bait for an IRS easy~snag hook. Yes, it's barbed.
Shiretown’s Scamming Slammers School of Scrambling Scheemers *
Imagine it ~So Bad a Little Fetid & Foul mix the lobsters avoid it!
Close on a Million in Federal Funds, smothered in Machias$elect-Not$ ~
“Pu$h & Pa$$”~ A Tried & True Method. A bait for LazyHog fish.
*Two Too Tuckered for Teaching Techniques.
House for Sale by Rightful Owner ~
Historic Home~TIF eligible.
Located in the Up & Coming
Red Light No Zoning Zone
Sheltered Courtyard perfect location for Satire.
Overhears the Falls, Overlooks the Follies.
Great Potential for Brothel …
MadamMaryMachias.Com
or whatever & Easy Access from CourtHouse.
With or without Bad Little Bait Business~
Includes uncountable Buckets of Bullfish & Smirking Mugs.
Such a steal!~ at $2.9 Million & has a good deed. Cash Only.
Squatter’s in Clark Perry’s House?
If only it could be about the food, but it isn't, never has been.
It’s not about zoning either, though some would prefer that. Nor is it about the beer, there isn’t any of that.
It is about property rights, an apparently new super passive-aggressive method for acquiring real estate, also a trap to avoid at all cost if you are selling.
And, an admission. I’ve been wrong all along. I’m sorry.
It looks like Bad Little Brewing Co. LLC does not own 101 Court Street after all, and never did. What threw me off were the applications that showed the brewery borrowing against the value of the property and the confusing flurry of amended deeds, and filings.
Remember that auction I’ve been writing about? Not the well advertised one that Sorara LLC prevented last January.
The other one labeled “small” by its executor this past April. It seems clear now that no-one bid at that one. Not even Bad Little Brewing Co LLC. That’s how secret it really was.
Sean and Kathryn’s Sorara LLC napkin cleaned the mess of their blown up 1-½ yearlong Beehive negotiations from themselves so thoroughly that I failed to see the real stain.
It looks like as the April auction failed to gain a single bid, they became their own landlords by default. They were stuck with a worthless property they had tried to, but were unable to sell!
Will they report the loss to the IRS?
I don’t know what the arrangements are between the corporations. I bet it’s a sweetheart deal.
But, the Grange hall is still very much in play. Very much a potential target.
It occurs to me also, the display of Sharon Mack’s art may be calculated to further the erasure of the most recent pollinator owners.
Snarky enough I warrant.
But, no matter how many trees they’ve had cut at public expense.
No matter how much dirt they’ve had moved at public expense.
No matter how much paint they've had applied at public expense.
No matter how many employees they have hired at public expense.
And, no matter how good or lousy the food or beer is; if the real estate deal was the con job it appears, then Bad Little Brewing Co. LLC no more than squats in Clark Perry’s old house.
But, if it was entirely legitimate, and if you are (God forbid) ever forced by circumstance: death in the family, medical bills, lost job or anything else really, to agree to a “short sale” or auction in order to satisfy mortgage debt. Beware, you are of no consequence anymore. All previously negotiated deals are now void. And, you too can be stripped of your equity. You can be easily left with nothing but the debt.
Sucks to be you then. How bad is that?
Located in The Machias Red Light No Zoning Zone.
Free & Court Streets
Madam Mary Satirical Bait Mongeress
BADLITTLEBAIT.COM